Unbeautiful
by NarutardedAngel
Summary: SasuNaru- Just a jumble of Naruto's thoughts on whether or not he is the cause of Sasuke's departure from the Leaf.


Unbeautiful

Based on the song Unbeautiful by Lesley Roy

SasuNaru

I'm still here, Sasuke.

I know that you probably think I'm a fool.

Think I'm a loser, an idiot, to still be chasing after you.

But there isn't anything that I can do.

Do you expect me to forget all the things that we've ever shared? That would kill me- or worse; be completely impossible.

I don't want you to run away again, now that after all these years, I've finally found you.

All on my own.

Alone.

Now all I'm trying to do is figure out the real reasons why you left. I know you say it was for the power, for the revenge. But could it have been something more? I think so, no matter what you try to tell me.

But the real reason I'm thinking all of these things….is because I'm confused. I'm confused, and, admittedly, a bit afraid. I don't know what the future holds, and now I don't know what you're capable of anymore, since our last encounter. You could be stronger, by far, and your goals could have changed. But what I'm hoping, and what is probably right, is that somewhere, no matter how deep inside of you, is that you're still the Sasuke that I knew back in the academy.

Do you still remember that…Sasuke?

Then again, it only gives me even more to think about. Had you been planning your departure since back then? Ever since the end of your clan? Or had it been a sudden decision, had you just had enough of the leaf village? That's what you told Sakura….but, once again, I don't completely believe you.

I guess I was blind to all this, back when we were genin….well, back to when you and Sakura were genin. I'm still stuck down at that rank. But what is surprising—or maybe not that surprising--, is that I'm not as ignorant as I was when I was younger. Sure, maybe I'm not a full-on genius now or something, but I'm smarter.

For the most part.

I've helped a lot more people that I thought I ever would, and I've become a lot stronger than I would have ever imagined. But….what bothers me is that I might not be strong enough to bring you back.

All I've had left of you is our shattered memories of our seemingly normal lives here in Konoha. It was you and me, me and you. Where there was Sasuke, there was sure to be Naruto not far behind. That's what everyone said, and they were right. They saw these things, but never dared say anything about it. You with your stoic glare and redeemed Uchiha clan past, myself with my accursed demon fox imprisoned inside of me. We were against the villagers, not so much in a rebelling way but with what we believed in. Then again….I never will truly know if you were completely loyal to them or not.

You had promised me, all those years back, that no one would have the power, nor the will, to split us apart. Well, I guess you were lying, or you honestly didn't know, because you ended up being the force that split us apart. Physically, at least, because I never let myself pull apart from you spiritually. I would say that I'd die before I'd let that happen, but that would blow a hole through the whole concept. Or would it?

I still remember your faint, hushed words that day, the one day of all the days in a year that all the villagers would torment me; make my oh-so happy life an agonizing hell. That was the day I had ran; ran

as far from my home, from the people, from you ….as far as I could go. I ended up collapsing in the middle of the forest, and you were the one to find me. Those small words…despite my scarred and bloodied cheek and my matted, rustic hair, my hazy cerulean eyes…..those words you said to me brought me back to my top. It made me stop thinking that I was a worthless nobody on days like those, that I could live my life to the fullest without looking back on my dreadful past…

Those three words….

No, not those three words.

"You are beautiful."

At first I had thought I had hit my head way too hard on my way, thought I was crazy….but seeing the depths in your endless charcoal eyes and the slight flicker of hope and the true you shining through them made me realize that maybe I wasn't insane after all.

Thinking of all this still makes me wonder on my initial quest; why did you leave? Was it….was it because of me? Was it something that I did, or maybe did I say something that made me drive you even more away? I think that things like that will never become clear to me; it might not even be clear to you.

Everyone knew that after you left, something just wasn't right with me. I wasn't changed that much, I was just thinking a lot more than usual. People told me to let it go, that what's happened has happened, and what's done is done. They told me that I should forget about you, go on with my own life trying to make myself a better ninja and reach my goal to be Hokage. But I told them exactly what I told you; it would be completely impossible.

And besides, to reach my goal of Hokage, I'd have to accomplish one other thing; bringing you back.

At that time, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I was focused and determined on finding you, bringing you back home. I was taught that home is the place where someone thinks of you…and I believed that if I thought enough in you that you'd come home on your own.

I was a little foolish to have thought that, with how you are now, you would have come back by your own will, if at all. I know better now, but that doesn't mean I still don't believe in my morals, or that I still don't think of you, because I do.

Like what a few people have told me….our bond, although scratched, is still as it was before; Untouchable.

A lot of the time I thought I might have been dreaming, since most of the time everywhere I turned I saw you. I saw you, and our past, what we were like, how we are now, how everything will become. It gets frustrating, really, to think that you're here when you're not. I've told myself to try to get you out of my head, but once again, it seems impossible…..

And now I wonder if….it was those three words that you told me that ended up driving you away, if it was those words that made you feel weak and inferior. In my eyes, when you said those things, you never seemed stronger.

But, if it would bring you back, I'd rather be unbeautiful than be where I am now. Sure, I have all my friends, no one hates me anymore, and I've gotten stronger. But the one thing I've wanted my whole life and mostly had…..except for now….

Is you.

Everyone always said that we were better together; everything was so much brighter back then. Everything seemed so much more at peace in the Leaf village when you were still here….life was so much simpler then. But I guess everything happens for a reason….ne, Sasuke-teme?

So…I think I've come to a shell-shocking decision…Well, not to myself, but to others.

And don't you dare laugh or mock me, because I know you'd want to.

…I love you, 'ttebayo.


End file.
